


For You

by Str4y



Series: Safety [3]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety, Bad Decisions, Car Sex, Cheating, Consensual Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Heavy Angst, Love Triangles, M/M, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:20:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Str4y/pseuds/Str4y
Summary: All Jisung had to do was press send and then he’d be done with Chan and Changbin forever. So why couldn’t he do it? He had Minho for comfort and he knew that Chan didn’t love him anymore. What was holding him back from breaking the double knot?Who was he staying for? This couldn’t have been for himself, right?(Bucket List 3)
Relationships: Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han, Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin, Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin
Series: Safety [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1475099
Comments: 58
Kudos: 220





	For You

**Author's Note:**

> I’m bad at these per usual. If I missed any tags, as always, please let me know. I think I got everything but I didn’t proofread properly at all.

————  
A text message. 

Jisung wasn’t being rational. But he figured they deserved this. 

He was jumping to conclusions. Not thinking right. He wasn’t thinking right. 

Jisung stared at his phone screen, the message saying a simple it’s over and the send button so tempting. So beautifully tempting. 

“Jisung, are you going to work?” 

He forgot where he was. Jisung sat up in his chair, “yeah...yeah I’m so sorry.”

He’d been avoiding work for a few days. This was his first day back. He was terrified that Chan or Changbin would try to come in and talk to him. Find out what was wrong. 

Changbin has texted an additional one hundred and thirty six times since Jisung left the apartment. Given a thousand calls and even called his work. He was so genuinely concerned. But Jisung told his work to block the number. And he did the same. He wasn’t sure if Changbin had tried sending more. He blocked his number. 

Chan. Chan had called once since in addition to the petty calls from that night. He didn’t care. Chan didn’t care. 

“Have a nice day.” Jisung nodded the little girl off, handing her one of the lollipops on the desk. 

The lollipop display wasn't usually so full. Jisung had noticed. Minho was anxious. It was clear. If he was himself that display would be empty. 

“Hey, you okay?” Jisung asked, reaching out to tap the man's shoulder. 

Minho didn’t seem alright. 

“I’m good, just tired.” He shot a bright smile that felt too forced. But Jisung would drop it. There was no point in talking about things at work. Not at all. 

“Okay...I’m sorry you got those calls—“

“Nah, nah. It’s fine. They’re blocked now!” Minho was faking it. He wasn’t fine. Yeah, they blocked them. But he clearly wasn’t okay. 

Jisung felt numb the rest of the day. Numb and terrified that Changbin or Chan would come to his job. 

It’s over. 

He should send the text. He should just get it over with. This shit alone had given him the wake up call he needed. Changbin was obsessed with controlling Jisung, and Chan didn’t give a shit about him. They were toxic. 

Jisung’s finger hovered over the button. 

What was stopping him?

“He’s not here.”

Jisung froze. His worst fears had come true. But he really didn’t expect this one. Jisung took a deep breath as he peered down the hall to the front desk. Shit. 

Chan. 

He didn’t expect him. Not Chan. Not here. Changbin made more sense than Chan. 

“I know he’s here. His car is here.” Chan sounded panicked. Why did he sound panicked? That wasn’t fair. 

Minho didn’t seem to know what to say, “he asked us to tell anyone trying to see him that he’s busy—“

“I’m his fucking boyfriend!” Why was Chan mad? Chan shouldn’t be mad. 

Jisung just slid down the wall, hands at his hair as Minho said something back. He didn’t know what. He couldn’t even focus. He just knew he needed Chan to disappear. The mere sight of Chan hurt. It hurt so badly. 

“Fine. Tell him to call me, please?”

Whatever Minho said had worked. Chan audibly let out a frustrated growl before slamming the front door. 

Jisung anxiety had never been so high. His stress had never been this bad. He felt sick. 

His shift ended too fast. And he felt way too numb. Way too uncomfortable. He didn’t know what to do. 

“Jisung?” 

Minho. 

“Hey, do you wanna take my car back? Just in case?”

Jisung nodded, taking the deepest breath he could, “I’m so sorry you had to…”

“It’s not a big deal. Let’s get you back to my place okay?”

It had been a few days since Jisung left the apartment. A few days with Minho. 

Minho was sweet. Jisung expected fucking in exchange for his stay but...Minho hadn’t touched him at all. Minho seemed fine with Jisung crashing at his place. He was perfectly fine with Jisung taking his food and generously let Jisung sleep in his bed. 

They hadn’t done anything since that day. 

“Are you scared of him?”

Why would he ask that?

“What do you mean?” Jisung asked, eyes darting for the window. 

“He’s as controlling as I thought he’d be...he seems so eager to find you despite not calling properly for days.” Minho signed, tapping his fingers at the wheel, “I’m worried about you.”

“He’s harmless,” Jisung replied, “he’s an asshole but...he wouldn’t hurt me. He’s just mad.”

“But he is hurting you.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Why haven’t you tried to talk things out with them?”

Jisung rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat, “so you do want me to get out of your house—“

“Are you nine? No, I don’t want to kick you out. I want you to be okay.” Minho barely knew him, “I just want you to be alright, Jisung.”

Jisung didn’t understand. 

“Why are you allowing me to stay, Minho?”

Minho took a deep breath, “they’re not good for you, clearly. I allowed you to stay because I’m worried you’ll go back to that environment.”

Jisung frowned. But Minho was right. If Minho hadn’t let Jisung stay, he would have gone back. 

“Why do you care?”

“You’re my friend.” 

Jisung bit his lip, “so why would you want me to talk things out with them?”

“To come to a conclusion that staying together is a bad idea...so they leave you alone. And so you don’t have to cry over them anymore.”

That stung. 

“I loved Chan.”

“I know you did,” Minho’s face fell, “and if I could change things for you, I would.”

“How do I…,” Jisung’s chest hurt, “how do I just drop all that time? I’ve loved him for so long and...now I just don’t know what I feel. I think of Chan and I get goosebumps. Chan is a constant reminder that I will never be good enough and I—“

Minho got up, worry all over his face. 

Jisung must’ve been crying. But he couldn’t tell. He was so numb

“I just...wanted to be good enough.” It felt weird to say that. Especially to someone he barely knew. 

Minho approached slowly, cupping Jisung’s face in his hands. It was a warm touch. Minho was an awfully warm person. 

Minho didn’t deserve this. 

“you didn’t deserve that treatment...”

Minho didn’t deserve it either. 

“They took someone so lovely for granted...and I’m so sorry.”

Minho was kissing him. It had been...a while. They hadn’t kissed since that night Jisung first came over. Minho’s lips were soft with this hint of cherry. Must have been that chapstick he always ate through at work. He applied it all the time. 

Jisung felt so much comfort in the closeness. The kisses. The way his head spun. 

Did Minho like him? He didn’t want him to like him. Because deep down, as kind as Minho was, Jisung wasn’t sure he could return those feelings. 

At least not right now. Not anytime soon. Not with Chan stuck in his brain while Changbin drilled away his sanity. 

Jisung pulled away, taking a deep breath as he ran his hands up Minho’s arms, “I’m not lovely. I’m no better than them.”

Minho looked at him closely, eyes scanning Jisung’s for some sort of solution. 

“You are lovely.”

“Minho I’m not over him.”

Minho nodded, “it hasn’t been that long…”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be over him.”

Minho released Jisung’s face. He didn’t look mad. Or irritated. He looked understanding. Why was Minho so understanding!?

“It’s okay. Take your time and you have so much of it. You’ll figure out what to do...you’re really bright, Jisung.”

Jisung wanted to cry. Minho was too kind. He was too understanding. Too sweet. 

“I need to go out…” Jisung left Minho to slide his coat over his shoulders, sliding on his shoes with haste. 

“Be careful, okay?”

Fuck. 

“I will. I’ll be fine.” Jisung offered Minho a reassuring smile, Minho returning a smile that spoke volumes. Minho didn’t believe him. 

But that was fine. 

He didn’t have to believe Jisung. 

Jisung wasn’t sure how long he’d walked for after the first bus ride. He didn’t want to call a cab. 

Maybe that’s why he’d ended up at his job. His car. 

Jisung gripped his keys tight, staring at the parking lot before him. It was practically empty, spare a couple of cars from some managers that were parked opposite of his own. 

His car sat alone under the large tree. Where he always parked. Jisung took a deep breath as he made his way across the parking lot, unlocking the car doors with his remote before stilling. 

Why?

“Jisung?”

Why was he here?

“I...I’m glad you’re okay…”

No. 

“Jisung, are you—“

Jisung turned around, anxiety overwhelming every fiber. He couldn’t be here. Why was he here? Jisung shuddered at the sudden touch. It was small but enough. Enough to have him crying. Enough to have him breaking apart instantly. 

He didn’t want this touch. 

“Jisung...look at me,” he turned him around, warm fingers against his cheek as that stupid head of curly hair broke through the haze from his tears. 

And those worried eyes. 

Jisung released a choked sob, the instant heat of his chest causing him to panic internally. He shouldn’t be here. 

“N-no.” Jisung pulled away, shivering as he took the man’s form, eyes fogging as his tears made their way down his cheeks. 

“Jisung—“

“Chan, leave me alone…”

It stung. Chan sucking in his bottom lip stung. Chan's eyes looked so overwhelmed and sore, and that stung too. Had he really cried over Jisung? Or was it a joke?

“Jisung I can’t do that...please tell me what happened?”

Jisung just shook his head, holding his keys tight as his vision hazed again. 

He didn’t know what to do. What to say. 

Chan reached out, taking the keys into his hands before giving Jisung a slight tug towards the car, “I’ll drive you home...Jisung we can go home.”

“Why?” Jisung felt sick. 

“Because I care about you—“

“Chan don’t lie to me, don’t lie to me…” Jisung sobbed out, wanting nothing more than to break away and run. 

But he couldn’t. And it wasn’t because of the slight grip Chan had on his wrist. It was him. Jisung didn’t want to move. 

“I’m not lying...Jisung I’m so sorry about the other day. I just...you know how I feel about you?”

And he couldn’t even say it. Chan couldn’t even say the words. He couldn’t do it. 

“You’re...Sungie please come home.”

“Chan I—“

“I miss you so much, dove.”

Jisung was about to break. 

And then he was in the car. And Chan was turning the key. And Jisung was about to panic. Literally break down in place. 

“Sungie…”

“Why are you holding me?”

Jisung could barely manage his words as he brought his sleeve to his face, sobs hysterical and chest pounding. 

“If you don’t want to come back...I can’t imagine you not coming back.”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Jisung—“

“Stop...why are you doing this? Why did you do this to me?”

Chan was silent. He lay his hands in his lap, staring at Jisung with this pained expression that couldn’t have been real. He didn’t care. Jisung knew he didn’t care. 

“Why won’t you let me leave…? You have him. He makes you happy. And you make him happy. I don’t want to...I can’t do this when I know you don’t love me anymore.”

Chan bit into his bottom lip hard, eyes full of sorrow that made Jisung’s stomach tighten. 

“Dove.”

Jisung reached the handle, sniffling as he watched Chan. His insides were knotting. That double knot was so tight. He could barely breathe. 

“I do love you.”

Jisung was a fool. He was a joke. Jisung was everything wrong and nothing right. He didn’t believe Chan. He couldn’t. Chan didn’t love him. Chan was lying. It was forced. It was just manipulation. 

So why was he bouncing on chans cock like it was his lifeline? 

Why was he allowing Chan’s lips and teeth on his neck? Why was he allowing his hands to be holding him securely as his own arms looped around chan's neck tight. 

Why was he moaning? Why was he letting Chan fuck him in his car? 

Or the biggest question Jisung had: Why had he initiated this? Why had he crawled into Chan’s lap? Why was he doing this to himself?

“Dove…” Chan’s breaths were choppy as he increased his thrusts, causing Jisung to shudder and whimper out with every slam. 

What was he doing? 

Jisung held onto Chan tight, moans leaving the pit of his throat as he felt his stomach tighten. 

“Do you wanna cum?” Chan whispered against Jisung’s throat, hand adjusting to wrap around Jisung’s cock, “cum for me, Dove.” 

Chan was using him. 

Jisung didn’t know what for or why, but he was using him. It was apparent. Chan was a liar. 

But Jisung ate it up. 

“Chan...cum inside of me, please.”

What was wrong with him?

Chan just nodded, mouth back on his throat. 

Why did it feel so good? 

Jisung bucked his hips against Chan, the deepness of Chan’s cock causing him to let out a strained cry, the feeling of shameful seed warming against his only half exposed stomach. He shouldn’t have kept his shirt on. He shouldn’t have done this period. 

Chan was still moving, the sound of slapping filling Jisung’s ears until finally Chan released a staggered breath, burying himself deep inside of Jisung. So deep that Jisung was shaking. So deep that Jisung wanted to die. 

Chan didn't love him.

Jisung buried his face into Chan’s shoulder, breaths jagged and messy as Chan ran his hands along Jisung’s back, pressing the slightest kisses into his hair. 

Jisung felt sick. 

He held his sob, clutching around Chan as tightly as he could. He felt so...played. He felt so horrible. No amount of Chan’s attention could make up for how he felt. How he knew Chan felt. 

It was a facade. This was all a facade. And Jisung was trying so hard to not panic anymore than he already had. 

“Sungie...let me take you home.”

Jisung was shaking, he just held tighter. 

What was he holding onto? Chan’s love? His affection? Chan didn’t love him. Chan didn’t necessarily want him. 

He must’ve been more adored by Changbin. Maybe Chan could only have him if Changbin could have Jisung. 

Whatever it was, Chan didn’t want him. 

“I slept with someone else.”

Why did he say that? Why did he say that?!

“Dove…”

“I’m sorry.”

Why was he apologizing? 

“Don’t apologize...Sungie you don’t have to say anything else—“

“I just feel so sick.”

Why was Jisung oversharing? Why was Jisung doing any of this at all?

“I was going to break up with you. I was going to…”

He should! He should absolutely break up with Chan. 

“What can I do, Jisung?”

Chan wasn’t even mad that Jisung had cheated on him. He wasn’t mad. He just wanted Jisung to stay. 

“I feel so overwhelmed…”

Chan pushed Jisung back, hands cupping his face, “Jisung, come home for us. We miss you.”

Us. We. 

Maybe his brain was finally starting to work some. 

“I can’t do that, Chan.”

“Why?”

Jisung’s stomach tightened. He wanted to vomit. He wanted to melt. He moved slightly, the feeling of Chan’s cum running down his thigh causing him to shudder in disgust with himself. 

“I don’t love you anymore.”

Was Jisung lying to himself? Did he love Chan? He didn’t know. 

Chan bit his lip. 

Jisung didn’t say anything else. He opened the door, hastily pulling his pants up as he stood outside of his vehicle, eyes glued to the ground, “get out of my car.”

“Dove—“

“Please get out of my car.”

Jisung was shaking. He couldn’t let Chan stop him. 

“Jisung just let me take you—“

“Get out!” Jisung didn’t mean to raise his voice so loud he didn’t mean to startle Chan so much. 

Or maybe he did. 

Chan pulled his pants back up, shuffling out of the car. He didn’t look at Jisung. Not once. 

“Stop contacting me.”

“Jisung I can’t do that—“

“It’s over, we’re over.” The words felt like acid. Jisung felt like a puddle. He felt sick. He felt absolutely sick as he rushed into his car, slamming the door behind. 

Chan was frozen in place. 

Jisung had to get out. He had to go. 

So he did. And he didn’t look back. And he didn’t think. And he didn’t know where he was even going. 

Jisung just drove, chest completely battered inside. His heart had slammed against it so badly he felt like he’d die. 

And then after miles, he pulled over to vomit. 

——

Jisung was shaking as he pushed Minho’s front door open. Shaking as the man at the couch shooed away his cat to get up from his lap, face full of grief as he reached Jisung. 

Jisung felt so sick. He was sick. 

He was cruel for this. 

Cruel for shoving Minho onto the couch, the man's head hitting the armchair a little too hard. He was cruel to tear open Minho’s shirt. Cruel to move his hands to drag Minho’s sweatpants down so fast. 

He was cruel to have Minho kissing him back, breathing rapidly as his hands moved to Jisung’s belt. 

Jisung didn’t say a word before shoving his fingers into Minho’s mouth, the elder blinking in surprise before seeming to understand. 

Jisung was cruel. 

Minho let out a breathy moan as Jisung fucked his fingers into him. He didn’t even fucking ask Minho if he was okay with bottoming. He didn't say anything to him. 

“Are you okay?” Minho finally whispered as Jisung pulled away to angle himself, “Jisung, did something happen?”

Jisung shivered, pressing the head of his cock to the space. Minho was just space, wasn’t he? He really didn’t deserve this. 

“Can we fuck?” Jisung tried to calm his voice as much as he could, bringing his thumb to caress Minho’s bottom lip. 

Minho looked worried, “we can. Yeah…”

“Are you sure?” Jisung needed to know. 

“Yeah, you can fuck me Jisung.”

It felt wrong. 

Jisung was just using Minho as an outlet for his bullshit. He was thrusting into this poor man because of his own shit. He was being rough, treating Minho like a hole. 

But Minho wasn’t a hole. He was so much more than that. He was so sweet and caring. He was funny and smart and he loved his cats and—shit, he really cared about Jisung. He really did. 

So Jisung repaid all of that comfort with treating Minho like a toy. Mercissely fucking this man into his own couch, lips burning agaisnt Minho’s that struggled through his cries and whimpers. 

Again, Jisung felt sick. 

Jisung chased his orgasm, letting out lengthy cries as he filled the man underneath him, nails dug into Minho’s hips. 

He was so fucking cruel. 

He rode himself out, unable to look at Minho as he held himself as deep as he could before collapsing down against him. Minho’s breaths were uneven, and his fingers were shaky. Minho was shuddering, and silent.

Jisung pulled himself out slow, trying his best not to start sobbing over what he’d just done. He felt sick. He’d felt sick the entire time. And he was sore. He was sore everywhere. He’d just treated Minho the same way Chan had treated him. 

Jisung was no better than Chan. 

“I’m sorry,” Jisung whispered as his eyes met the mess of cum at Minho’s couch, “I’m so sorry.”

Jisung couldn’t look at him. He couldn’t face him after that. He should leave. He should go. 

But a hand to the wrist kept him from leaving. 

As Minho struggled to get himself upright, Jisung couldn’t hold his outburst. Couldn’t hide the tears anymore. 

“Minho...I’m so sorry.”

“Stop.” Minho just sighed, pulling Jisung to him, despite his own pain he held Jisung so tight. 

Why was Minho like this? 

And Jisung broke down. Comfortably in this man's arms, a right he didn’t have. 

——

“Minho, I’m so sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“Is your head okay? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Jisung…” Minho was settled against the fridge as Jisung sat on the counter. A position that had started their relationship. 

“You bled—“

“I just haven’t bottomed in awhile. You didn’t hurt me, stop.” Minho retorted, taking his mug to his lips, “what happened to you, Jisung? I didn’t do that to your neck.”

Jisung’s lip quivered,”Minho don’t deflect.”

“I told you I’m fine…”

“I hurt you.”

Minho shook his head, taking another sip from his mug, “it was sudden but you didn’t hurt me. I wanted to, and it’s fine. I’m fine...what’s not fine is you.”

“Why do you care so much about me?”

“You’re my friend. I told you that, Jisung.”

“You barely know me.”

Minho frowned, “and you’re still my friend.”

Jisung looked at the ground, “I slept with Chan.”

“Why?” Minho didn’t look surprised. Not entirely. 

Jisung started to count the specks in each tile, “I don’t know.”

“What happened for you to come back here and...do that?”

Jisung finally pulled his gaze, eyes fixating on Minho’s. He was hurt. He could see it. He knew he was, but Minho was too sweet. 

“I was upset.”

“Why?”

“I broke up with him.”

Minho took a deep breath, settling his mug down, “you finally broke up with them?”

“Yeah…”

“I’m glad you finally left him...he was just using you—“

“I just used you, Minho.”

Minho got quiet, eyes quickly averting from Jisung’s. 

Jisung just watched him close, “So let me apologize. Don’t tell me it was okay. It wasn’t.”

Minho bit his bottom lip, “okay.”

“Okay.” 

Jisung sat there, silence drilling into him, “If you want me to leave, let me know.”

“I don’t want that.” Minho whispered, “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I should, right?”

“No. You’re hurt.”

“You’re hurt too.”

“Even more reason to stay...Jisung I’m fine, seriously. You didn’t hurt me. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want to. I swear.”

“I feel so dirty, Minho.”

Minho frowned, “so come shower.”

What?

“What do you mean?”

“Let me clean you up, Jisung.”

Why?

“Why would you do that?”

“Because...you’ve had two rounds of sex and haven’t showered.”

Jisung bit his lip. “You don’t have to help me.”

“I want to...unless you’d rather I didn’t.”

Why did he want to help him?

“After what I did—“

“You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine, Jisung.”

Showering with Minho shouldn’t have been so...normal. Minho was comforting. It was weird. Their shower should have been uncomfortable, but it wasn’t. Not in the slightest. 

As Minho scrubbed the cloth as Jisung’s neck he couldn’t help but release a sigh, warm water smacking away any sin left on his body. 

“I thought I was cheating on Chan before. With Changbin.” Minho listened, he was quiet, “I don’t know why Chan did it but…I still cheated on Chan. I’ve done it twice now.”

“Jisung…”

“I used you to cheat on them. I knew you’d be available and I just...I’m sorry for using you like that, Minho.”

Minho just sighed, turning Jisung to face him, his blue hair hugging his cheeks, “You’re okay. I’m okay. Everything’s going to be fine, okay?”

Jisung shuddered, “is it?”

“You broke up with Chan, right?”

Jisung nodded slow, heart still trying to untie that horrific knot. 

“Just breathe. We all do things we don’t mean. I’m not hurt by it, I promise.”

He didn’t believe that. 

“You’re my friend and...I’m here for you. If you need a distraction, I’ll be here…”

“Do you like me?”

Minho blinked. 

“Do you like me more than that? I know we don’t know each other well but...why else would you be so sweet with me? Why wouldn’t you kick someone out after what I did and admitted to you?” 

Minho swallowed hard, “even if I did, you’re still my friend. And you didn’t do anything.”

“I did, Minho…” Jisung cupped Minho’s jaw. 

He didn’t deserve this. He really didn’t. 

“I like you, but if you’re expecting something more I just can’t give it...not right now.”

Minho’s smile was weak, “I’m not asking for anything. I just want you to be okay.”

“Why aren’t you mad?”

“Grrr?” 

Minho was cute. And it was a problem. Because Jisung would have been so mad if someone had done to him what he’d done to Minho. 

“I can’t be mad. I just...I can see where you’re coming from. It’s not like I didn’t know what was happening when you came over. I knew you were still with them. So honestly...I’m in the wrong too.”

Jisung frowned, “you were helping me—“

“I was being a homewrecker.” Minho smiled, nuzzling into Jisung’s hand, “I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t go back to them.”

“Oh, so you could have me?” Jisung snickered, taking in the blue haired man’s comfort as he let his eyes fall shut.

“Maybe. But I know how you feel so I’ll keep my distance from the hot dental assistant.”

Jisung sighed at that, “sure you will.”

Arms wrapped loosely around Jisung’s waist, “maybe I won’t, but I’ll try.”

“Doubt,” Jisung laughed, leaning forwards to take Minho’s lips to his. 

Was this bad? Probably. 

Did he care? Not at all. 

—— 

Jisung should have cared more. As he scanned his messages he felt...a strange surge of disgust again. 

Changbin had of course, messaged him. He shouldn’t have unblocked his number but he could only block for so long. Curiosity got to him. 

He sounded needy. Like if Jisung didn’t return, everything would be over. And he didn’t understand that. Why couldn’t they leave him alone? It was clear that they didn’t want Jisung. 

‘Jisung what the hell?’

He was obsessed, wasn’t he? Changbin. 

Jisung took a deep breath as he glanced over to Minho in the kitchen. He was cooking dinner for them, one of his cats staring Jisung down as if they were protecting Minho. 

He couldn’t fault the cat. 

‘What do you want from me?’ He wrote to Changbin, ‘Why won’t you leave me alone? You can have him. I don’t want him.’

Jisung sent and felt instant regret. He couldn’t show it though. Minho was right there. And the last thing Jisung wanted to do was hurt him anymore than he already had. 

Deep down, he really liked him too. 

‘Take it back.’ Changbin wrote, another message coming through, ‘You don’t mean that, Jisung. I know you love him.”

Did he? 

As Jisung started typing he sighed at the stupid dots by Changbin’s name. 

‘Jisung, don’t do this. He loves you. I love you. I’m sorry we left you that night. We just wanted to give you some space and went out to get food. We didn’t know you would leave like that.’

Jisung shook his head, they were lying. 

‘You love him, and we love you. Why won’t you understand that?!’

‘Don’t fucking lie to me,’ Jisung’s breath hitched, ‘he doesn’t love me. I don’t know what you feel but I know it’s not love. Just leave me alone. I’ll pick up my things in a few days and then I don’t expect anything else from either of you. Just leave me alone.’

‘So begging Chan to fuck you in your car was for what?’

Jisung glanced towards the kitchen, cat still staring, ‘I don’t know why I did that. But it’s none of your business anymore.’

‘You’re making a mistake.’

‘Just stop. You have Chan. He has you. Just leave me alone.’

‘I can’t do that.’

Jisung flipped his phone over as one of Minho’s cats jumped into his lap, hands shaky as he ran his fingers along the cat's orange fur. 

“You okay, Jisung?” Minho asked from the kitchen, the grey tabby seeming to stare into Jisung’s soul. 

Jisung nodded as Minho shot him a worried look, “I’m fine.”

Minho wiped his hands on a towel hanging at his fridge before making his way to Jisung, “you sure?”

Jisung’s eyes panned to the orange cat at his lap, “I just...I don’t know.”

Minho took a deep breath, “anything I can do?”

He was already doing far enough for Jisung. 

Jisung shifted, the cat jumping off and meeting the other tabby at the counter. 

“Come here…” Jisung whispered, crawling onto his knees as he finally looked up to the worried man. 

Minho complied, keeping some unnecessary distance as he looked into Jisung’s eyes. He looked concerned. So concerned. 

But within minutes, Jisung had Minho on top of him on the couch, mouths connected as his hands ran along Minho’s bare stomach. 

What was he doing? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to have sex with him right now, he thought. Just...attention. Jisung wanted a distraction. Why was he doing this Minho? 

“Jisung…” Minho broke the kiss, eyes shadowed in lust as a string of saliva connected their lips, “what are we doing?”

“Just...move.” Jisung begged, vision hazy as he bucked his hips into Minho’s, the elder shuddering in response, “I just want to feel you…nothing more. Just…”

What was he doing? Was fucking Minho earlier not enough for him?

Minho just took a deep breath before rolling his hips into Jisung’s, the feeling of Minho’s clothed cock against his own causing Jisung to gasp out. 

Jisung’s eyes rolled back as he pressed back into Minho, mind racing as Minho’s lips connected back with his own. 

Maybe Jisung was the problem in his own life. But he couldn’t be stopped. Not right now. Not with Minho’s cock hitting his own with that amount of pressure, and surely not with Minho’s tongue down his throat. 

“I’m gonna cum…” Jisung moaned into Minho’s mouth, Minho smirked at that. 

Minho thrust against him roughly as he slipped Jisung’s legs around one of his thighs, Jisung unable to kiss back as pleasure fogged his thoughts. 

He came, shaking at the pressure against his cock as his hand fumbled down to unbutton his pants, wrapping his hand around his constricted length to finish the slightly painful orgasm. 

As Jisung finished, seed coating his fingertips, he watched Minho closely. Minho had practically done the same, hand wrapped around his cock he’d pulled out from his sweatpants. His head was thrown back as Jisung watched him cum into his own hand. 

Minho was interesting to watch. He wondered if Minho had the same thoughts. 

Once Minho finished, eyes half lidded and fixating on Jisung, he leaned back down, lips grazing along Jisung’s so softly. 

Minho really did like him, didn’t he? 

Jisung let out a deep breath, leaning up slightly to take Minho’s lips before the stove went off. Jisung had never been so mad at food being ready before. 

Minho struggled to lift himself up, tucking himself back into his pants as he washed his hands. 

Jisung wasn’t even sure what to say. Minho was quiet. He hoped he hadn't done anything wrong. 

“Dinners ready, do you need to clean up?” Minho asked, swallowing hard as he wiped his hands off. 

Jisung pulled himself up from the couch, ignoring the sticky mess against his underwear as he went to the sink, “I’ll change after…”

“Do you want me to get you some sweatpants?”

Jisung gave Minho a look, “I’m sorry for earlier...what happened just now wasn’t the same. I promise.”

Minho blinked in reply. Maybe he did think Jisung had used him again. 

“I just really wanted to do that with you…”

Minho’s smile was unexpected, “I’ll go get you some fresh underwear and some sweatpants.”

Jisung smiled back, waiting for Minho to leave as he tugged his pants and underwear down, tugging his shirt to cover himself though he figured it didn’t matter that much. Minho had seen everything. 

A meow to the side startled him, eyes wide at that grey tabby who had eyed him earlier, “what?” Jisung asked, like the cat would respond, “I like him. I promise I won’t hurt your owner.”

He did like Minho. Minho was a sweetheart...beyond liking Minho as a friend, the rest just couldn’t follow. Not right now. 

Jisung took a deep breath as he glanced around the room, holding his shirt down tight. He felt so light. And still had the linger of guilt from earlier. But he couldn’t help that. 

“Here,” Minho came back fast, new sweatpants around his hips as he held out the folded sweatpants and underwear, “they might be a little big...I couldn’t find any of yours.”

“Mine are dirty,” he laughed, quickly sliding into the underwear and set pants, still slightly wary of Minho seeing him. 

Minho just smiled, turning away to pet the grey tabby at the couch. He was so peaceful and calm. Jisung didn’t deserve his kindness. 

“Hey Minho,” Minho turned slow, eyelashes fluttering, “I kind of...I told them I’d go get my stuff tomorrow.”

“Oh?” Minho tilted his head, still petting that cat. 

“I don’t...I mean if you want me to I could get another apartment or—“

“Ah, you’re like moving out? You’re welcome to stay here—“

“I shouldn’t do that, right?”

“Can you afford an apartment on your own?”

No. Not really. 

Minho must’ve noticed the drop in Jisung’s expression, “you can stay here...it’s fine. Seriously.” 

“I...can you come with me tomorrow?”

Fuck. Why would he ask that?

“You want me to...what would they think?”

“They know I’m your coworker. Chan’s met you…” Jisung whispered, “I just...I’m worried if I go alone I’ll—“

“You’ll fall back with them?” Minho’s face was...he was sullen. Grief stricken at the thought. 

“Yeah...they—“

“Manipulate you.” Minho took a deep breath, placing his hands onto Jisung’s shoulders, “yeah, I’ll go...keep them from hurting you.”

“I just...I shouldn’t have told them I was going. I could have just shown up when they were out—“

“It’ll be okay,” Minho was smiling now, but there was still definite worry plastered in his face, “you’re going to be okay.”

Minho was just too sweet. Jisung would have never pegged his obnoxious coworker as being the sweetest human being there was. But here he was, being...a ridiculously good friend. 

——

“Do you want me to go instead?” Minho asked, rubbing Jisung’s shoulder as they stood outside the door Jisung hadn’t seen in months. 

“No...I should...we should go.” Jisung sighed, holding his knuckle to the door. 

Chan might have been at work. Maybe. 

Changbin? God...Changbin would definitely be there, wouldn’t he? 

Maybe coming here was a mistake. Especially after what Changbin had texted him. 

“Just breathe, I’m right here.” Minho smoked, running his fingers carefully down Jisung’s back before slipping them to his side. 

Jisung nodded before knocking at the door, head spinning as they waited. 

Maybe nobody was home. 

No. The door opened slowly, those dark eyes facing Jisung instantly. Jisung was nauseous, stomach turning as the man glanced to Minho before settling his eyes on him. 

“Jisung.”

His voice was soft, yet flat and filled with a strange anger. Of course it was. Changbin must have been so mad…

“I’m just...here for my stuff.”

“Is this your coworker?”

Jisung would have wondered how Changbin knew that, but it was fairly easy to find out who Minho was on social media. And knowing how obsessed Changbin must’ve been with Jisung, it didn’t surprise him at all that Changbin knew. 

“Yeah.” Jisung inched forwards as Changbin pulled the door opened, eyes fixating on the man who was focusing his attention on Minho. 

“So this is where you’ve been.” Changbin’s voice was so fucking scary. 

Jisung ignored that, sliding passed towards the back. To his—their bedroom. He didn’t look back to check on Minho. He really couldn’t. Not right now. 

“Jisung—“

“Don’t talk to me,” Jisung whispered back, noticing how the room looked the same. They hadn’t changed anything, “I’ll be quick—“

“Why are you doing this?” Changbin sighed, standing at the doorway as Jisung rummaged through the drawers to tug his clothes out, tossing them onto the bed. The bed that used to be his. 

“Just leave me alone.” Jisung didn’t want to talk to him. 

“Chan will be back soon.”

“Stop.” Jisung turned, Changbin holding a menacing smirk at his lips. 

Maybe it wasn’t Chan that was the issue. It really was Changbin. Jisung didn’t know this man. He didn’t recognize this man. 

“Jisung, are you okay?” 

Jisung noticed the way Changbin looked at Minho. There was...a hatred that made Jisung’s stomach ache. 

“I’m fine. You don’t have to come in here—“

The door clicking had Jisung’s heart racing. 

Minho gave Changbin a look before sliding passed into the room, “do you want to go?”

Jisung shook his head, “I need my things…”

“Jisung.”

“What are you paying him in, Jisung?” Changbin’s words stung. 

Minho didn’t seem to know what to say to that. Of course he didn’t. Minho didn’t have a vile bone in his body. 

“Changbin stop talking to me—“

“Hey Chan.” 

Jisung winced at Changbin’s words, rushing to tug clothes from the hangers in the closet. He didn’t want to deal with both of them. Not in front of Minho. He shouldn’t have brought Minho. He didn’t want Minho to get caught up in this. 

“Is he paying you with sex? I’ve noticed you don’t party much lately.” Changbin’s words were pure venom. 

And he was very clearly stalking Minho’s social media. 

Minho stayed silent, eyes fixated on Jisung. Jisung could tell he was bothered that Changbin knew that about him. 

“Is he the one you cheated on us with?”

Jisung froze, hands stalling over one of his sweaters. 

“Changbin who are you talking to?” Chan must’ve just walked in. His voice was close, laced in confusion. 

Minho’s hand pulled Jisung back by his wrist. He was...not okay. 

“Jisung we should go. Can we go?” He was whispering, like he was truly terrified of them. 

Jisung shouldn’t have brought him there. 

“Jisung, I’m talking to Jisung,” Jisung looked at the door, Chan stopped beside Changbin. His expression was...fuck he shouldn’t have come here. Jisung shouldn’t have come here, “and the boy he’s been fucking.”

Changbin never spoke like that before. He was a different person. 

“Changbin…”

Even Chan was shocked...Jesus. 

“Jisung can we—“ Minho’s hand was tightening around his wrist. 

“Why the rush? Maybe you can join our little arrangement.”

“Changbin stop,” Chan sounded breathless, “finish packing...we’ll leave you alone, Jisung.”

Jisung was surprised. 

“You’re kidding—“

“Changbin leave them alone.” Chan pulled Changbin from the doorway, giving Jisung a sympathetic look before both men disappeared. 

Jisung’s eyes were shaking, body trembling with the cool air of the room. 

“Jisung...how does he—“

“Help me finish...so we can leave.”

“Did you tell him?”

Jisung shook his head, “no…”

Minho was shaky too, eyes glued to the door as he started to put Jisung’s clothes into the bag he’d prepared. 

They stayed silent until Jisung was sure he had every article of clothing and every tiny thing that he had to take. Every notebook and his laptop and his headphones, his CDs...everything he could fit into this bag. 

“Jisung…”

“What?” Jisung asked sharply. 

“You do still love him, don’t you.”

“Minho I told you that I...it’s going to take time we can go now—“

Minho cupped his face, “if Changbin hadn’t gotten in the way you’d still be with him?”

No shit. 

“Minho I want to go now…”

Minho nodded, fingers slipping from Jisung’s face. He was so...Minho was so uncomfortable as he slung the bag over his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry this happened to you.” 

Jisung shuddered as Minho left the room, following close behind. No sign of Chan or Changbin. Which was good. Maybe Chan took Changbin out. Jisung had lost track of everything. The second Chan looked at him he—

“Minho, I’m sorry I made you come with me.”

“I’m glad I did.” Minho whispered as they left the apartment building and made their way into Minho’s car. 

Jisung wasn’t happy. Wasn’t happy that he dragged Minho there. Wasn’t happy he saw Chan. Was definitely not okay with Changbin saying what he did to Minho. Minho didn’t deserve that. 

——

Jisung stared at the ceiling. He’s chosen to sleep on the couch. Minho said he was okay but...Jisung could tell he was shaken. Changbin openly admitted to stalking Minho’s page. Minho even went as far to private his social media because of this. 

Minho wasn’t okay. 

That was clear. 

Jisung sat up, unlocking his phone as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

Chan’s name was so tempting. 

Changbin had sent a few messages since they’d visited the apartment. 

Chan had sent nothing. 

Jisung took a deep breath, pulling himself up from the couch. 

The grey tabby’s eyes were on him like a hawk, as if the cat had known all along that Jisung was—

Jisung was a piece of shit. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, giving the cat a weak pat at the head before sliding his shoes on and grabbing his keys. 

It was so late. So late that Minho was probably dreaming. So late that Chan and Changbin must’ve been asleep. 

But they weren’t asleep. 

No, they were wide awake when Jisung’s knuckle hit the door. 

Chan, thankfully—which was weird to think, opened the door. His messy brown hair settled over his head. He looked like he’d just showered. Maybe he’d worked late. Or maybe they’d just had sex. 

Jisung didn’t know. 

“Jisung...did you forget something?”

Jisung felt those trembles again. Especially as he pushed Chan inside, shutting the door behind and locking it as he used to when it was...his door. 

“Jisung—“

Jisung turned, eyes scanning Chan’s face as his palm cupped over the man’s lips. 

Changbin was on the couch, undisturbed as a horror movie played on the television. 

“Don’t say anything…”

Changbin turned at that, eyes blinking in a weird confusion as he pulled up from the couch, “Jisung?”

“Shut up…” Jisung whispered again, giving Changbin a look, “don’t say anything.”

“Are you robbing us?” Changbin smirked, making his way over to Jisung and Chan, giving him a curious look. 

Jisung took a deep breath as he released Chan’s mouth, grabbing the back of Changbin’s head. 

Why was he doing this?

Jisung felt the pressure hit his chest as Changbin’s lips parted against his own. He felt horrible for missing this. 

Horrible for being led to the bedroom like a doll. 

Hated that he was looking forward to being used. 

Jisung felt the bed at his back as Changbin’s hands ran up his shirt, nails at his stomach. 

He was making a mistake again, wasn’t he?

Changbin squeezed at the sensitive buds at his chest, Jisung bucking his hips into the older man’s. 

“You want me to fuck you?” Changbin whispered, “you want me and Chan to fuck you?”

Jisung wanted to cum at the thought. And that was wrong. He was wrong. He knew that this wasn’t real. Well, it was real. But the feelings weren’t. There was nothing but lust. 

“Use me…” it’s not like they hadn’t always done that. 

Changbin nodded, lips crashing into Jisung’s again as cool hands ran along Jisung’s arm. Chan. 

Did Chan even want him there? If Jisung thought too much he’d start crying. He didn’t want to cry. 

“Changbin, I wanna taste him too.”

“You tasted him earlier.” Changbin laughed, causing Jisung to shudder at the sudden departure. 

Changbin pulled Jisung’s legs around his waist, Chan’s pillow lay lips replacing Changbin’s quickly enough. 

Jisung’s head spun. He missed Chan. He missed Chan so badly. 

“Dove…” Jisung was melting, dragging Chan close by hooking his arms around his head, teeth clicking as Jisung’s heart raced. 

Chan. 

His pants were coming down. Jisung shuddered at the sudden touch at his cock, the very sudden wetness and warmth that encased him. 

He bucked his hips, Changbin’s mouth so fucking warm. 

“Jiji…” Chan crawled into the bed, pressing their lips back together as he adjusted himself, cool hand running down Jisung’s thigh. 

Jisung was losing track of everything. As Chan’s fingers filled him and Changbin’s mouth pleased his cock, he was losing himself. He was so lost in these two people. These two men that had...they’d hurt him. They’d used him and lied to him. And he didn’t know why, but he just needed them to fuck him so badly. 

“Fuck me, please.” Jisung broke the kiss, vision blurring as tears filled the corners of his eyes. 

Chan looked concerned, giving Jisung a worried look as he kept moving his fingers. 

“Changbin...I want Changbin to fuck me.”

Chan took a deep breath, “are you sure?”

Why was Chan being so reluctant? Did he hate Jisung that much? 

Jisung nodded, Changbin leaving his swelling cock with a pop, “you want that?”

He’d burst soon. His stomach was tight with nausea and expectation. 

“Okay, Jisung.” 

Jisung’s back arched as Changbin smeared his precum along his hole, Chan’s hand leaving to move to his sensitive cock. 

“What should I do?” Chan asked. 

Nothing. 

“When he cums inside of me...I want you to fill me up too.”

Chan shuddered at that. 

Jisung would have too, if he was in his right mind. 

“Okay, Jisung.” Changbin filled him faster than he was ready for. But that was fine. He just...he didn’t know what he wanted. But being filled was...at the top of his list. 

Changbin’s cock felt...very different than he’d expected. Jisung really liked how warm he felt as Changbin started rolling his hips the second he’d bottomed out. 

Jisung just turned his attention back to Chan, licking their lips again as Changbin moved inside of him, whimpering from the sudden deepness. He should have let Changbin fuck him that day. Changbin felt nice. 

“How is it, dove?” Chan whispered, lips moving expertly against Jisung’s, “is it good?”

Jisung whined into his mouth in reply, Changbin’s cock starting to slam into him, knicking that sweet spot inside of him. 

Honestly it kind of hurt. Maybe there was a reason Changbin didn’t top when they were together. He was rough. 

Jisung whispered against Chan’s lips again, noticing how Chan’s hand had slipped into his pants. 

He couldn’t have that. 

“Don’t—“ Jisung broke the kiss, saliva running down his chin as Changbin increased his speed, sending Jisung’s eyes rolling back, “Don’t get yourself off.” 

Chan took a deep breath, eyes scanning Jisung before he gave a nod. 

Changbin really was using Jisung as a hole. He was so fucking rough. Jisung pulled Chan’s lips back to his, trying his best to ignore just how rough Changbin was. 

Maybe it was punishment. Being rough with him. 

Jisung wouldn’t be able to walk after this, would he? He wouldn’t be able to go back to Minho’s—no, he definitely couldn’t. No. Not after this. 

“Chan, I’m gonna cum…”

Chan nodded, hand at Jisung’s cock slowing, focusing on the most sensitive part as his thumb rubbed the head of his cock teasingly. 

Jisung shuddered as Chan moved his lips to his neck, unholy noises stemming from Jisung’s lips as the sound of Changbin’s balls slapping against him filled the room. 

His head was spinning. He was making such a mistake. He was fucking up. 

But everything felt so good. It felt right even though he knew it was so fucking wrong. 

Jisung didn’t last much longer. He arched his back as Changbin slammed into him, cries loud as Chan’s mouth worked at his neck, hand pumping him dry. 

And with a few more thrusts he could feel Changbin’s seed coating his insides, muscles clenching tight around the man’s cock that continued to ram into him. 

Could he even handle Chan at this rate? 

He wasn’t sure. 

Chan pulled away from Jisung to direct some attention to Changbin, their lips melting together so perfectly that Jisung felt that jealousy rising in his stomach. 

But Changbin pulled away fairly fast, cock pulling out and leaving Jisung clenching for something—anything, to fill him back up. 

Chan took no time pulling his cock out, precum leaking from his tip as he teased Jisung’s hole. 

He really wanted Chan to fill him. Even though he’d just fucked him, he needed more. He needed Chan right now. 

Chan leaned down, lips locking with Jisung’s as Changbin sat at the bed, watching them closely. 

Jisung reached his hand over to Changbin, Chan forcing it against the bed as he pressed himself in. 

Chan was so fulfilling. Jisung shuddered with sensitivity as Chan started to move, cock buried deep inside of him as Chan’s arms moved to wrap around Jisung’s back. 

“I’ll just watch.” Changbin whispered, breathlessly. He looked so hot, hair shielding his lust-covered face. 

Watch. Why was he only watching, though? 

Jisung ignored that. Ignored Chanin entirely after a few thrusts from Chan, arms moving to wrap around Chan’s neck as the man thrust almost as deep as Changbin, yet holding himself back. 

It was new. 

“Chan…” Jisung was so sensitive, body trembling with every kiss and movement. 

He loved Chan. He did. 

“Dove…” Jisung loved when Chan called him that. 

Chan moaned against his lips, increasing his pace as his stomach moved against Jisung’s cock, sending his eyes rolling back again. 

Jisung didn’t want this to end. He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want Chan to leave him. He just wanted Chan. 

Chan Chan Chan. 

“I love you, I love you—“ Jisung whimpered, body starting to ache from all of the pressure. He was sure he might be bleeding too. Changbin had been especially rough, and he’d been trying his hardest to block out the pain. 

Because the pain was worth Chan’s attention and love. 

Chan nibbled at Jisung’s bottom lip as he thrust deep, the feeling of Chan’s cum filling him up along with Changbin’s that had stayed inside of him. 

Jisung felt so light. So exhausted. 

Chan rose out his orgasm, tugging on Jisung’s lip harshly before burying his face into his shoulder, hips trembling as he pressed himself deep, moans so beautiful against him. 

Chan. 

Jisung could barely breathe. He was sweating bullets as he moved his hand to Chan’s hair, Changbin watching him close as he focused his eyes on the man. 

He looked pleased. 

Jisung ignored that. He just wanted Chan right now. His Chan. 

“I love you...I love you—“ Jisung winced as Chan pulled himself out, replacing his cock with two of his fingers like he was holding the cum inside of Jisung. 

Chan was quiet, catching his breath as he studied Jisung’s face, “We love you too.”

Jisung didn’t want the we. But it was good enough for him. 

For now. 

When Jisung woke up his body was screaming at him. He felt so sick, stomach in knots. Everything hurt. He was hurting so badly. 

But it was worth it. 

Chan was there, lips parted as he slept. He was beautiful. Chan was so…

Jisung reached his fingers out, touching the man’s lips with adoration. 

He stung so badly. But Chan was right here. His Chan was there. With him. 

Chan stirred awake as Jisung pet his lips, his own eyes wide as Chan looked at him. 

“Hey…” Jisung whispered, watching as Chan’s brows knit, “where’s…”

“He’s in the living room…”

“Oh…?”

Jisung watched Chan closely before curling into him, Chan wrapping his arm loosely around Jisung. 

“I’m...im glad you’re here.”

Chan winced. 

“I just...Chan I love you so much.” 

Chan shut his eyes tight, like he was in pain...but he couldn’t be in pain. 

“What’s wrong?” Jisung whispered, running his fingertips across Chan’s cheek. 

“Jisung...I can't do this.”

Jisung shuddered, “do what?”

“I can’t do this...this poly thing. I can’t do it.”

“So don’t...we don’t have to—“

“No…” Chan grabbed Jisung’s hand, giving his knuckle a small kiss before biting his bottom lip. His eyes were watering. 

And Jisung’s were too. 

“I can’t do this with you anymore. I...Jisung there’s a reason I didn’t call or try to get you to come back.”

Jisung’s heart sank. And he suddenly wished he wasn’t hurt. He wished he could get up and run away. But the second he tried to move pain shot through his back. 

“Chan stop—“

“Jisung...I really did love you. You know that?”

Jisung shook his head, tears swelling up in his eyes and fogging his vision. 

This was a nightmare, right? 

“I loved you for so long…”

Loved. It hurt. It stung. It hurt so bad. So much worse than the pain in his back. His heart was shattering. 

“But I...when I started seeing him again...I cheated on you. I cheated on you so much with him.”

Jisung clasped his hand over Chan’s mouth only to have him rip Jisung’s hand away, holding it against his chest as Jisung’s lip started to quiver. 

He couldn’t even see as tears flooded his eyes. 

“Jisung listen to me...I’m so sorry—“

“Stop, stop—“

Chan held his hands tight as Jisung let out a choked sob, body starting to tremble as his chest pounded. 

“I don’t love you anymore…”

“Don’t say that, why would you—“

“Changbin begged me to go after you. Begged me to get you back or he’d…”

Jisung didn’t want to hear this. His heart was shattering so badly. He couldn’t breathe. 

Despite the pain he was moving, struggling to pull himself upright. 

It hurt. Everything hurt. 

“Jisung don’t hurt yourself…” Chan sounded heartbroken. But Jisung knew better. 

“Chan stop...stop.”

“Jisung...I care about you so much, and that’s why I...I had to tell you. I’m so sorry—“

“Why? Why did you do this to me?” Jisung couldn’t breathe. 

“Changbin wanted you—“

“Chan stop...stop, take it back. Take it back please…”

Jisung felt pathetic as he crawled back into Chan, burying his face into the man’s chest as he rose up, hand petting Jisung’s hair. 

Jisung released another choked sob, trembling against Chan as tears overwhelmed his face. 

This wasn’t happening. 

“I’m so sorry...dove I’m so sorry.”

Dove. Jisung wished he were a dove. He wished he was a dove. He wanted to fly away. He wanted to leave so badly. But he couldn’t. 

Jisung wasn’t a dove. He was garbage. 

He felt like garbage. 

Jisung pulled away, body shaky as he struggled to move. He wanted oUt. 

“Chan please...I love you so much...please.”

Why was Jisung fighting? He knew Chan didn’t love him. He knew it. 

“Jisung…” Chan helped Jisung upright, hands cupping his cheeks as his thumbs rolled across to gather tears, “I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t do this to me...Chan please don’t—“

“Changbin won’t bother you anymore. We talked when you passed out.”

Jisung didn’t want to hear that. 

“We’ll leave you alone—“

Jisung shook his head, forcing his lips to press against Chan’s as he sobbed, arms looping around Chan’s neck. 

He’d never felt more broken. Not when he Chan and Changbin had originally played him, and not when they’d played him the second time. 

Third time, Jisung was a fucking fool. 

Chan pushed him away, holding Jisung by his shoulders as he tried to kiss him again. 

Why was he trying so hard to love someone who would never love him back?

“Chan please...please don’t do this.”

“Jisung stop.”

He felt sick. He would’ve vomited if his stomach wasn’t so empty. 

“I love you...say it back, Chan please—“

“I don’t love you.” 

Jisung couldn’t stand that. He couldn’t function. He felt so sick and so numb. He was choking on his tears, struggling to grasp onto the hope of ever being with Chan again. 

“Don’t leave me...I’m sorry I left. I was just...Chan please don’t leave me.”

He was repeating himself, shaking with every syllable as Chan just stared at him with eyes that were a mix of sympathetic and cold. 

Jisung has never felt his chest race so much. He’d never cried so hard before. 

“You can keep using me…”

Chan let out a whimper, petting Jisung’s cheek. 

“You can...it’s okay...it’s okay.”

Chan shook his head, tears finally sliding down his cheek as if he’d had enough. 

“Please anything...I’ll do anything.” Jisung was choking to the point he was coughing, trying his best to look at Chan though his eyes were just too foggy. 

“Jisung...I’m sorry.”

It stung. It stung. It stung. 

“Chan I’ll do anything I’ll do anything for you. Everything is for you please let me—“

Chan covered his mouth, biting his bottom lip hard as he shook his head. 

And that was that. Jisung gave in, body slack as Chan cried in front of him. He’d never felt so crumbled up. So used. 

Jisung couldn’t do anything to change what was happening to him. 

A broken heart was not on his bucket list.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading part 3 to the safety series ✨ it can only go up from here, right? 
> 
> A L S O 
> 
> I don’t know why on earth I have to do this but please do not reupload my work under any circumstances. If you’d like to for any reason please message me first, do not reupload my work. If you see my works on wattpad please report them, I will never grant permission for wattpad.  
> [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/skzorcism)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/Str4y)


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